SUSAN SOSA, M.A., MFT Licensed California Marriage & Family Therapist License #39341.
Individual, Couple & Adolescent Psychotherapy. Offices in Sherman Oaks & Beverly Hills, CA .    Email: notes301@aol.com  Phone: 818.919.4061

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Couples Counseling

Solution-focused Couple’s Counseling:

Research shows the primary complaints leading to divorce are not physical abuse or addiction, but rather, lack of communication, lack of affection and nagging. (Hetherton, Cox, & Cox, 1981).

Most relationships are worth saving simply because most problems are solvable. Or more specifically, most unhappy relationships can be changed, and therefore, are worth changing. In fact, it’s not about "saving relationships," it’s about ending the old relationship and beginning a new one--with the same partner.

Solution-focused counseling is a dynamic, results-oriented counseling approach. The methods are based on radically different assumptions that enable couples to make sudden shifts that transform their relationships.

Solution-focused counseling’s emphasis is on finding solutions to marital problems rather than on exploring the problems. Learning to do more of what works and less of what doesn't work in a relationship.

Couples learn to identify what they do when they are getting along so that they can do more of it, and to identify unproductive patterns of interactions so that they can eliminate or do less of that. Once couples see what they need to build on and what to eliminate, they have specific parameters to guide them.

What if your partner won’t come with you to counseling? A common stumbling block to working out problems in a relationship is the idea that both partners need to commit to working on the relationship in order for the relationship to change. Relationships are such that if one person makes significant changes, the relationship must change. Too many relationships go down the drain because each person is waiting for the other to change first. Change your relationship by changing yourself. You can’t change someone but you can change how you react to them. You can learn to react in ways that will make the relationship feel better.


References: "Effects of Divorce", Hetherington, Cox, and Cox
“Divorce Busting“: A Step-by-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again, Michele Weiner-Davis